Things NOT to say when you get pulled over

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

I pay your salary!

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me - nice job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

So, uh... you on the take, or what?

Gee, officer, that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around - that's how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

Hey, is that a 9 millimeter? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.